Man prepares for hardware store

As a man, I am always a bit nervous about taking my car to the garage or going into a hardware store because I am expected to know about such things. I went into a hardware store last weekend and was afraid that they were going to ask me if there was anything they could help me with and then laugh at me if I said something like "I need some grease for my garage door" instead of something like "I need a type 2 metallic lubricant with a polarization ratio of less than 7 diflurges per snoof". Women, I am sure, generally do not have this problem as they are not expected to know about these things (though knowing about which sorts of shoes are currently in fashion sounds more difficult to me so I think I prefer being a man on the whole).

The problem is exacerbated because lots of bits of hardware have different names in this country. Who would have though that a rawl plug would be called a "wall anchor", for example? (Okay, in this particular case it would probably be more difficult for an American living in England).

Wasn't there a TV comedy sketch which had a salesperson in a hardware shop tried to narrow down exactly what type of flange his customer was looking for by asking lots of nonsense questions? (Did you want a screw type flange or a plain flange? How many legs?) I think it might have been a Two Ronnies sketch, but all I can find on the internet is the "four candles" sketch which (while hilarious) is not what I was thinking of.

2 Responses to “Man prepares for hardware store”

  1. Anonymous says:

    I think it was Fry and Laurie. Straight, then curved. http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x31v84k

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