Archive for September, 2005

Pope joke

Friday, September 9th, 2005

When the pope was elected I made this joke to Gennie and she said I should post it.

So the new pope will be called Pope XVI Benedict. I wonder if the pope from 6 Benedicts ago was called Pope X Benedict (eggs benedict - get it?)

Yeah, I know, it's pretty awful.

The big scary list of things that we need to do to the house, in no particular order

Thursday, September 8th, 2005
  • Yard/exterior:
    • Remove ivy/vegetation growing closer than 18" to the house
    • Regrade surface adjacent to building
      • Ground needs to be at least 6-inches below wood frame on all sides of the house
      • Ground needs to slope down away from the house for at least 5-10 feet
    • Remove trash from underneath porch deck
    • Sow more grass seed
    • Ensure there is not too much water coming down the embankment
    • Patching/repair of siding/trim
    • Exterior repainting
    • Replace house numbers
  • Storm drains:
    • Evaluate condition of lines
    • Rout out lines
    • If lines are clogged or broken and can't simply be cleaned out:
      • Repair or replace lines with newer material
      • Install below-grade storm water draining system using solid non-perforated pipe, maintain 2% minimum slope (4% or more is better)
    • Unclog line at northwest corner of house
    • Connect downspout at north side adjacent to the masonry chimney (and any other disconnected downspouts) into the rest of the system.
    • Determine where the lines discharge to.
    • Clean and caulk gutters and roof storm drainage system
  • Heating system:
    • Ask previous owners about heating installation and obtain records or receipts if available.
    • Floor framing has been left exposed and needs to be enclosed
    • Service furnace
    • Water ponding on floor next to furnace (from disconnected condensate line?)
    • Evaluate adequacy of return air and exhaust installation (white pipes)
    • Vacuum clean heat registers
    • Vacuum blower compartment of furnace
    • Replace furnace filter
    • Find out normal operation and emergency procedures (find manual or ask furnace service firm)
    • Install/improve combustion air intakes
    • Change furnace air filter
    • Check furnace heat exchangers
  • Decks:
    • Attach decks and front porch to house more solidly
      • Use 5-6 inch lag bolts to supplement existing nails
    • Replace rotting wood
    • Treat new decking boards with penetrating stain
    • Increase spacing between deck boards
    • Re-seal deck boards
  • Kitchen:
    • Fix stove ventilation fan
    • Have plumber evaluate and if necessary correct drainline air gap vent for dishwasher installation
    • Raise height of light near large floor-standing cupboards that I keep banging my head on
    • Clean sink strainers
  • Hall bathroom:
    • Route ventilation fan ducts to exterior instead of into attic space
    • Replace sink stopper
  • Garage:
    • Replace or fix garage door locks & springs
    • Lubricate garage door mechanism
    • Replace broken wood in garage door
    • Add automatic garage door opener
    • Add self-closing door mechanism between house and garage
    • Fix gypsum wallboard
    • Ask previous owners about what repairs were done where the ceiling is open
  • Electrical:
    • Terminate/cap off wires in panel and at furnace
    • Replace wall outlet cover plates
    • Replace light receptacle/switch cover plates
    • Have an electrician check the complete system
  • Miscellaneous:
    • Fix squeaky floorboards
    • Replace carpets
    • Interior painting
    • Replace interior doors
    • Fit closet doors
    • Replace windows with holes or where condensation is present between panes of glass
    • Replace remaining blinds with curtains
    • Fit mantlepiece/shelf above fireplace?
    • Buy a new chest of drawers for bedroom
    • Change locks
    • Have ceiling finish tested for asbestos
    • Check for leaks in water service line
  • Basement:
    • Redecorate
    • Add home cinema and one of:
      • Pool table
      • Foosball table
      • Table-tennis table

Lyrics competition 2005 answers

Wednesday, September 7th, 2005

We may lose and we may win,
But we'll never be here again.

Eagles - Take It Easy

Unless the moon falls tonight,
Unless continents collide,
Nothing's gonna make me
Break from her side.

Del Amitri - Driving With the Brakes On

This whole damn world can fall apart.
You'll be OK, follow your heart.
You're in harm's way
I'm right behind -
Now say you're mine.

New Radicals - You Get What You Give

You got to cry without weeping,
Talk without speaking,
Scream without raising your voice.

U2 - Running To Stand Still

But the truth is:
I never could stop dreaming,
Anymore than I could
Make them all come true.

Dar Williams - The Kid

The rocks may melt
And the seas may burn

I threw this one in as a trick question (or possible tie-breaker). Two possible answers would have been accepted:
Mary Chapin Carpenter - 10,000 Miles
Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers - Learning to Fly

I'm soaking through and through.
Then you handed me a towel
And all I see is you.
And even if my house falls down now,
I wouldn't have a clue
Because you're near me.

Dido - Thank You

You'll never see the end of the road
When you're travelling with me.

Crowded House - Don't Dream It's Over

You took off your coat, stood in the rain.
You were always crazy like that.

Jewel - Foolish Games

If it seems I'm floating in the darkness,
Well I can't believe
That I would keep you from flying.

Tori Amos - 1,000 Oceans

You fill up my senses
Like a night in the forest,
Like the mountains in springtime,
Like a walk in the rain.

John Denver - Annie's Song

Please keep all negative comments about my taste in music to yourselves - I've heard them all before.

Lens doctor - stay away!

Tuesday, September 6th, 2005

Normal service is now resumed (I was out of town for a few days and am still catching up with things).

A while ago I found that the lenses of my sunglasses had somehow become scratched. They were fairly expensive sunglasses so I decided to see if I could fix them using one of those glasses repair kits that you see on the infomercials. Well, just like the other infomerical-advertised item I have bought in the past (the "quick chop") it is completely useless. The solution solidifies alright, but rather than spreading out into a thin, smooth, uniform layer first (as claimed), it just solidifies in place like glue, leaving a smear on the lens which is far more annoying than the original scratch. How a product can be advertised to do a thing and so utterly fail to do that thing is a complete mystery to me. Avoid at all costs.

Don't forget that today is the last day to enter the lyrics competition.